Anyone else have the sudden urge to kill?

So this one's going to be a long one....

I have a friend, we'll call her J. She has a boyfriend we'll call dipshit.

J and dipshit have been "together" in some form or another for a bit more than 6 months. J is a very religious Mormon girl, and dipshit used to be Mormon, at least in some form or another, but I guess he couldn't live with some of the rules.... Anyway, on to the story, please refrain from destroying your computer, keyboard, or harming those around you.

So the basic story here is that J keeps calling me for advice, specifically about her relationship with dipshit. For the longest time she was upset because dipshit wouldn't kiss her, he always was worried about the possibility of diseases and whatnot. What a great thing to say to your girlfriend eh? She put up with this, and in fact they even got tested for STD's.

Well, in the meantime before they even took the tests, they started fooling around, you know, some heavy petting, hand jobs for each other. She started pleasuring him orally from time to time... So much for being worried about the STD's, but he still wouldn't kiss her.

A few months of this go by, they start having sex, still no kissing, because, well that's a bit risky... WTF?

She's still putting up with this, despite my encouragement to make him start kissing or go fuck himself. She wants to stay with him, she's "in love". Oy Vey.

SO they get tested, well lo and behold, tests are negative for both of them. They got those results Wednesday... Still no kissing as of today, which is Sunday....

I talk to her every couple of days, so as is expected I ask what they are up to, usually she's getting some work done and he's "playing with his computer". Now I will fully admit that I am a fucking geek, but if there's a woman involved, the LAST fucking thing on my mind is that goddamn computer.

I started asking her why she's still there, she responded with the whole "in love" thing. I suggested she talk to him to find out what the fuck is going on in his fucked up little mind... WELL, she asked him a bunch of things, like why he wants her there, as they've been basically living together. She's currently trying to decide whether or not to move in officially, which saves her from paying her rent, but still....

So she asked him "do you love me?" and he came back with "I'm not as crazy about you as you are about me". I told her to fucking rip his balls off on her way out the goddam door. She stuck around. The next day I talked to her, asked if he did anything to apologize, apparently he did. He started pleasuring her orally.... WAIT! so it's been 6 fucking months? she's been sucking his cock, and they've been fucking, and this is the FIRST goddamn time he's done something for her?????

This made me change my tune slightly.... I suggested she grab them, squeeze them as hard as she can until they fucking pop, then tear them off and walk away.

She's still there...still living with him, and still trying to decide what to do.... I'm looking for your advice people, either your advice or your help in beating the living piss out of this fucker. Leave me your comments....