Monday, August 29, 2005

Put your fucking make-up on before you leave the house

I'm sorry, but I personally have a problem with being stuck on the freeway behind some driver doing 40 in the fast lane and wandering left and right so far that you can't get around them. This happened to me this morning on my commute. When I finally was able to pass this particular idiot, I looked back to find a woman putting her makeup on. MAKEUP WON'T HELP YOUR PROBLEM LADY. At least she'll have her makeup on for the paramedics though. Shit people, if you're running so late that you must put your make-up on in the car, what the hell does it really matter if you look good or not when you get to the office? I'd rather get my ass to work on time to avoid the inevetable bitching from the boss than kill myself in the car trying to comb my fucking hair or something.

As far as I'm concerned, this is reckless driving at it's best. There's debate as to that friggin "right to bear arms" shiat, well you know what, if we're going to bear them, it should be legal to shoot fuckers that pull shit like this. At the very least we should be allowed to follow them to work and slash their friggin tires. Especially if it's anything like this idiot this morning, with the "lift kit" on her V10 dodge ram. It's bad enough that she's part of the reason it costs me $10 to drive to work and back now.

Why does she need a V10 Dodge Ram anyway??? This is my biggest pet peeve of all. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NEED TO DRIVE A FUCKING TRUCK??? I get that some people feel safer in an SUV or a truck, because they're higher up, they can see farther, it's heavier, etc. Well you know what, higher up means lower center of gravity, meaning less traction, and heavier means harder to move and more importantly, harder to stop. Let's stop and add those factors together.... That's right folks, it means you're fucked in comparison to anyone in a car.

So to make yourself feel better you put some god damned balloon tires on your truck making it ten times as likely to hydro-plane. So all in all you're doing pretty well. What's that? You get 8 miles to the gallon? Well congradufuckinlations people, you are now paying an average of 150% of what it costs to buy a car, plus your stupid aftermarket lift kit costs, and you're using 4x as much fuel as a car, AND YOU'RE MAKING ME LATE FOR WORK!

I think they should implement a few new laws:
1. Truck registrations should cost twice that of a car.

2. Commercial truck registrations should cost five times that of a non-commercial truck, AND the police should enforce the fact that if you buy a truck personally, and use it for work, you get a $5000 fine for not registering it as a commercial vehicle, and you still have to pay the higher registration fees. No, I don't mean if you use your truck to get to work, or if you need it to get to your job site, etc. I mean if you're like my neighbor who puts his company sign(magnetic) onto the sides of his van every morning, or if you have your company name, etc in the window.

3. In order to buy a truck you must sign an agreement stating that you either require it to get to your job, or your home if you live in a remote location, or that you require it for towing, and you must prove all of the above. If you're buying something you need to tow, you get 90 days to buy it. Even if you just want to look cool, you need to sign an agreement stating that you are willing to pay the higher fees.

4. Insurance on a truck should cost 3x that of a car, as a truck is likely to do far greater damage given the weight, and the higher risks.

5. Trucks must be required to meet the same emissions standards as cars. I'm sorry people, but with todays technology, we can convert those trucks to CNG with no loss of power, or we can clean up that fucking exhaust, and if you're willing to pay for the goddamn truck in the first place, what's another five grand??

Oh and just to clarify people, I'm not talking about Toyota or Nissan trucks, etc, basically I'm only talking about trucks with v8's or larger, that are bloated in size and only need the extra power to haul that much gas around. If you're driving a 4 banger or a slant 6, you're fine, because you can still tow shit, you can still haul shit, and you can still get your ass around, and the same is true for something other than shit I'm betting, like furniture and whatnot.


Okay people, that's my rant for today, if you don't like it, as per usual, I don't give a flying fuck. See the last couple of posts.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

As requested....