Random Thoughts

So I stumbled across a few pictures hogging space on my good old hard drive... Thought I'd share my love of Photoshop with you guys.

Some things happen to piss me off, like for example parents that won't smack their fucking kids. You know what people, sometimes kids need to get the belt/switch/paddle, whatever the fuck you want to call it. It accomplishes many things: teaches them some goddamn respect, teaches them not to do that ever fucking again, teaches them what pain is and establishes a sense of right and wrong. Look at it like training a dog people, dog shits on carpet, dog get shit beat out of it, dog doesn't shit on carpet anymore. So:



Now on to some other random rants. Parents, why the fuck do you keep feeding your kids more and more pills? ADD, that's the biggest fucking crock of shit I have ever heard of, how many times have you heard some parent say that their kid has ADD? Get real people, just buck up and admit that your child has a bad fucking parent, or two, or in many cases on the north rim of the Grand Canyon, 12. Anyway, fucking smack your god damned kids people, it will get them to shut the fuck up and stop interrupting my 5 seconds of peace when I'm scarfing down a fucking bowl of teriyaki chicken at Queens Bowl off of chandler. Shameless plug, i know. Fuck you.

Anyways, for those that don't want to bother living up the their god damned actions, AKA: not being a parent after you knock someone up or get knocked up, I guess this is for you:



And just to round out the day here. I hate Micro$oft.

Wallpaper

So the other day I got my new laptop, finally, from Dell, you know the "Dude, your getting a Dell, a month or so late." guys.

Anyway, I needed some nifty non-offensive wallpaper, because you never know when a client is going to shit bricks because you have some fucking tits on your background. Yes, we all know that tits are good and should be displayed freely, except in those cases where no one wants to see, like mine for example, guys with tits, not good.

So, back to the topic at hand. I found a nifty wallpaper for the Micro$oft Winders side of things.


That might look a little off, but that's okay, my laptops native resolution is 1920x1200 people, if that's a problem, I don't really give a shit.

So I'm digging in the Google Image Search, god bless google. I will offer my annual sacrifice to the gods of google later tonight, but in the meantime, I stumbled on some pretty decent Linux wallpapers that now adorn the walls of my office on 11x17 paper.....


















These are fantastic, I don't know how I would survive without the Google Image Search.

The Toque - Teen's Last Dying Wish: A Threesome

Billy Cavender has only one wish...

Dying Teenager Has Only One Wish To Be Granted

CANADA CITY-- The following letter was forwarded to our staff and its contents touched us so much we decided to share it with our readers:

Dear Make-A-Wish Foundation:

My name is Billy Cavender, and I am fifteen-years-old. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with Acute lymphocytic leukaemia, a cancer of the white blood cells. My disease has progressed swiftly, and has already affected my bloodstream and many of my vital organs. I have been told that my condition is terminal.

My parents are in complete shock over the news of my impending death and they spend a lot of time crying and hugging me. It seems a cruel fate to have my life taken away from me at such an early age. But I accept God's decision, and I am doing my best to cherish every living day that I have left on this Earth.

When I heard about your organization, I was excited! I have read so much about how you helped grant other young people their one true wish, the one achievable goal they could obtain before passing away from a life-draining condition. I thought perhaps you could take the time to consider my simple request, so that when I die, I will have left this Earth fulfilled, having lived each day to its fullest.

I only hope that you will read my letter and be able to help me with my small wish, the one and only thing I would wish for before the cancer robs me of my precious existence.

You see good people of the Foundation, all my life, I have dreamed of the opportunity of participating in a threesome. Yes, Make-A-Wish Foundation, before I die, I wish to have sex with two women at the same time.

Now, since I am only a fifteen-year-old with terminal cancer, I have not had a chance to live the way most teenagers do. With my deteriorating condition, I've never kissed a girl, and therefore I haven't had the chance to have sex with one woman, let alone two!

All of my guy friends have tried and tried and tried without success to get a second woman to engage in a sexual act where there is already one woman involved. This wish that you would grant me would make me the envy of my peers, where before all I got was their pity. And I will die happy, knowing that I was able to participate in a sexual act with multiple partners, in this case two (at the very same time).

I don't see where this would be a problem to you and your atruistic people, knowing what amazing resources you have at your disposal. I read about the young girl with leukemia who got to skydive for the very first time, and I read about the burn victim boy who got to play ice hockey with his idol, Wayne Gretzky. I even read about the visually-impaired girl who got to go to Disneyworld.

Now if you can send a blind kid to Florida, my request for group sex shouldn't be that hard to fulfill. The girls in my threesome don't even have to be pretty, although that would be a plus. It wouldn't even need to cost your organization any money--you could probably get a couple of the volunteers to jump into bed with me, as long as it was two and not only one. I'm sure there are some adventurous foundation staff members that would jump at the chance to serve and service a young man desiring to be intimate with a couple of girls at once.

What about about other Make-a-wishers? There must be other needy people out there who could help, while fulfilling their own wishes. Maybe there are a couple of twin sisters in Dubuque, Iowa with brain tumours, whose only wish was to make it with a teenage cancer victim. You could check your database.

Damn it Make-A-Wish, I'm a horny teen who only wants to get fucked by two chicks at the same time! How hard can that be? Just send me the money, and I'll hire a couple of sympathetic hookers to do it. You can tell the foundation executives you spent the money on a Sony Playstation II! Yah, that's it. My only wish is for my very own console gaming system!

I'm sorry, the chemotherapy leaves me weakened and emotional, so I tend to lash out. Please forgive my outbursts--the sickened cries of a sexually-inexperienced young man on his last leg of life.

So please, Make-A-Wish, I hope you consider my request, the request of a dying teen who has never felt the intimate touch of two women simultaneously.

Billy (still a virgin--and never engaged in a threesome) Cavender