Focus for the weekend: "Science"

I like to think I have a very analytical and scientific mindset. I have to for my given field of work, things are the way they are because of certain factors, everything can be explained if you simply try and find the answer. Many in my field are happy with "it's broke, so reboot it". In many cases that works but you didn't figure out why it's broken, so chances are, it'll happen again, and you'll reboot it again. Repeat this process enough times without getting a fucking clue about what you're doing and eventually you'll prove to everyone how much of a dumbass you really are, or you'll buy a mac, but then you're still a dumbass, so the result is the same. Using the scientific method we can determine that it's you that causes the condition of being a dumbass, not the equipment you're working with.

Which brings me to my next series of rants. What the fuck is with all this goddamn creationism bullshit they are forcing down schools throats???? I mean seriously people. You really believe that this shit qualifies as "science"? If you want to teach this stuff, teach it in a religious environment. Schools need to teach facts. It drove me insane when I would ask for proof of something in religion class in high school and would be given another friggin section of the bible or our religion book as proof. Neither of which presented any facts of any kind. This is fine, this passes as "education" at a catholic high school where teachers don't even need to be certified to teach, have any fucking clue what class their teaching, much less any sense of reality.

Now the same quacks that want us to take the pledge of allegiance out of schools want us to teach "creationism" to public school students. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? I can understand that you are clueless or just plain stupid enough to believe that this is actually valid subject matter, but keep that shit to yourselves. Don't infect the next generation with your fucked up creationist theories, they have enough problems already fixing everything my generation, and the previous generation did to fuck up the environment.

As usual, if I have offended you, that's your own problem. I offend everyone equally, come back later and I'll likely be mocking someone you don't like.

The problem with the world today is a serious lack of common sense.

Every day there are prime examples of the lack of common sense in the world today. Just the toher day there was this article:

Kid suspended from school for brining empty shotgun shells to school...What's worse, they were blanks to begin with.
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20091028/NEWS/910280363/1001/NEWS

Seriously people? Spent shotgun shells are probably less dangerous than pens and pencils. In fact, I bet you'd be pretty damn hard pressed to find someone that was killed or injured by spent shells. On the other hand, you might be able to find people killed or injured by pens and pencils pretty quickly. Why do schools now-a-days make such a big deal about nothing? I mean come on. When I was a kid I remember riding my bike to school carrying a 6 foot long model rocket and a duffel bag full of solid fuel model rocket engines, ignitors, and wadding. That same school expelled a kid three years later for bringing a model rocket to school, without engines, ignitors, etc.

Get real people, in fifth grade I had to give a report dressed as Davy Crockett, Davy Crockett carried a rifle... My school's principal said "nice costume". He had common sense and knew that the fake flint-lock rifle in my hand was not a threat to anyone. Neither was the knife, which I carried every day, because a knife is a tool, not a weapon. Now, I'd be branded a terrorist and put on the no-fly list, or sent to Guantanimo Bay. Thanks W.

My teacher at the time said "wow, that's a cool rocket, let me take a look at that." and then used it as a prop for science lessons. Now-a-days all you get is: "oh my god, a model rocket made of cardboard, plastic and glue, everyone duck and cover! call the police!" followed by a lesson in creationism.

The Future of Today's Youth.

MAC OS

No need to elaborate, the picture says it all.

Irony, one of my many joys...

So I was unfortunate enough to have had to suffer the hell that is that of a catholic education. I was fortunate enough however to escape via expulsion. I know, shocking as that is, given my conformist attitude. Anyway, back to my point, one of the many horrible horrible experiences I had to endure was listening to sex ed as taught by priests and nuns. This was appalling, as was pretty much all other attempts at "education" they made at that place.

Our sex ed classes were done during our "religious studies" classes, as if that somehow made sense. Throughout all of the classes the students, who all had more sexual knowledge and experience than the "teachers" (not counting the priests that fucked little boys, they had some experience, obviously) would ask questions specifically designed to make the "teachers" admit that they really had no idea what they were talking about and they would just recommend abstinence until marriage. This class went on for a couple of weeks and then we went back to our normal "studies". While our questioning was really entertaining, looking back I wonder to myself why I didn't point out the obvious:

/me: one please.

Proper Grammar

I'm not about to claim that I'm perfect people, but I've truly had it with the pathetic crap I've been overwhelmed with lately. If you can't bother to even take a second glance at what you write, don't bother writing it in the first place. If you are a newspaper or on-line new resource, your excuses are pretty much non-existent since these places employ people to review stories. Are you people fucking retarded or do you just not have any respect, like me?

At least, on occasion, I go back and fix my fucking missspellings. Sometimes.

Then there's the combination fuck-up. That is when someone does research that does not actually need to be performed in the first place, like nearly everything you did in high school. The worst part is when it's someone's actual job and some douche bag reporter doesn't even recognize how asinine the bullshit research is and he, or she, writes a fucking article about it. You know what I'm talking about people, you've seen it time, and time again.

People wonder why the world is such a fucked up place these days. I will take the initiative and present to you some of the reasons why. This goes hand-in-hand with my policy of openly mocking people.

The sad part is, this jackass is probably not only still employed, but he probably makes more than you and I. Unless you are one of those lazy ass people that don't have a job. Don't get me wrong here people, there's a difference between not having one and trying to find one, or having one recently that you lost due to downsizing, etc. You people I don't hate. It's the ass wipes that don't have one, don't want one, don't do anything to contribute to that thing we call society, and live off of other peoples taxes. Even in that realm, if you need temporary help, that's what it is for, but when you've reached your 20th year of collecting welfare checks, you should be eliminated from society, after all, everyone is capable of being employed in one form or another.

An ode to stupid people...

So I got a Nigerian scam e-mail just the other day. I thought this one was particularly well done. In the spirit of the Nigerian scam, it took advantage of stupid people and their willingness to openly share their bank account information with anyone that has an e-mail address and spells their name three different ways in a single e-mail.

The e-mail I received was actually in the form of a contract to purchase "bonny light crude oil" at an amazing rate of $1.00 per barrel, and in the same contract it was also, $2, $3,$5, and free. It actually had a block for me to fill in my bank account information and a space for me to initial and sign on each page.

I for one, support the nigerian scam as a concept, granted, stealing peoples money is wrong. However, is it stealing when they offer it to you so freely? Or in this case, if they sign a contract saying you can have it? At a minimum these people should be identified, publicly mocked, and stripped of all internet connectivity.

Wussification of Sports

As a follow up to my kids sports post:

Path Forward

So I've thought for a while about the path I wish to take with this newly revived pathetic excuse for a blog. I've determined that there are a few things in this world that are truly entertaining. I've decided that I will dedicate a portion of this blog to those things. Some of those items are: openly mocking the opinions of others, human stupidity, and combinations of those two. If I was creative, I'm sure I could come up with more items than those,  but they'll do for now. After 3 years, anyone still reading this piece of trash can wait a while longer for something worthwhile.

I will state right now, and for the record, that I am an equal opportunity offender. I will offend everyone. I don't care by what name you call your god, gods, cats, dogs, relatives, or anything else for that matter. If you are offended, that's your problem, close your browser.

In the spirit of my hate of all things Macintosh, let's get this party started.

Yuppie 911!

So I read this article, about something being dubbed "yuppie 911" and all of you non-commenting slime know how much I hate yuppie scum....

Now-a-days with technology, we have all kinds of capabilities, including, apparently, the ability to call for water from the bottom of the Grand Canyon (for those of you that are challenged in terms of elementary school topics...the canyon was formed by a river...one that still flows through the canyon). The article mentions a group of people, fathers and sons, that went on a hiking trip through the canyon. Apparently they used the "panic button" on their GPS device to signal for rescuers to come and help them. When rescuers arrived, the group informed them that they couldn't find any water. The rescuers left water even though the group had found a stream.

The next day they pushed it again, calling in rescuers, because the water they had found tasted salty....This is two times, in two days....the rescuers left water.

On day three, they hit the button again, because we, as human beings, apparently have a problem with fucking evolution. Now, I will grant you that evolution is not perfect, it allowed us to get to the point where we, through the use of technology, actually keep dumb fucks like these people alive. In essence we are encouraging stupidity and encouraging survival of the weakest.

Does anyone else see a fucking problem here? I mean seriously people. I remember this story that was really popular when I was a kid called "The boy that cried wolf" and the moral of the story was if you keep crying wolf, or in this case "crying dumbass", eventually people will stop listening and ignore you....Apparently all the fucking pansies out there that encourage shit like "participation trophies" and "everyone is a winner" type behavior, have modified the story a bit, and the moral is now "keep crying, the more you cry the more people will help you"

Survival of the fittest people. I understand that people think it's cruel to let nature take it's course, but you know what people, life is not a fucking Disney movie. Actually, scratch that, remember Bambi? Well fucktards, guess what...Bambi's mom got killed, and Bambi learned from it.....Bambi learned "don't stand in front of the dude with the gun" oddly enough Bambi survived, at least until Godzilla showed up.

For those of you that are un-informed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpBkc2jK-6w

What the fuck happened to kids sports?

So I've been saving this rant for a while now. What the fuck happened to kids sports? When I was a kid, you kept score, you know, like they do in every fucking sport.... There's a score, there's a winner, there's a loser, and the occasional brat crying his heart out because the kids on the other team kicked his ass. That's the way sports are supposed to be, you have a winner/winning team and a loser/losing team.

Some idiot however thought this was a bad system because it taught kids that they don't always win, and that would force their precious snowflakes to face the fact that we don't always win in life. Obviously this is wrong, you know, given that it's been working flawlessly since the beginning of time. I dare you to invent time travel and find some cavemen gathered around the kid that didn't catch/kill any food saying "ugg, ugg, ugggg, ugh!" which translates to "great job honey, I'm so proud that you won". You might find one saying "oog, ugg, ooooga, ugga, ugg!" which means "keep it up dumbass and we'll have you for dinner before the next moon." I guarantee that cavekid learned pretty damn quick that starving sucks. So did all of the other cavekids, and that led to reasoning, and invention of tools, and the fucking internet to order goddamn pizza's and shit.

Back to my point....I know you were wondering when that was going to happen.

Let the kids play fucking sports already. Keep score, don't give everyone a "participation trophy" given them a "participation kick in the ass" and give the winners a trophy. I take my kid to soccer games every weekend, and the dumbass parents say "you won!" and without skipping a beat the kids say, "no we lost 7-0". I'm waiting for one to just say "what fucking game were you watching?"

Also: I forgot to include this on my last post...

I bet that I could take dog shit, put it in a box, stick an apple logo on it, and call it an "iDOG"(note the improperly used lower-case I at the beginning) and some jackass would pay $500 for it.

Take that you fucking iPhones!

So being a self-respecting geek, I hate all thing macintosh/apple related. Especially iphones, ipods, and anything else that is priced 50000% above the manufacturing cost just because it has a fucking apple on it.

Anyway, time to get to the point. Apps. Apps, they suck, they exist only to amuse the ADD riddled idiots that bought the iphone in the first place. Yes, I mean you. You know who you are....if you can't go for a day without hitting the "app store" you qualify. (I also bet you $10 my wife just put down her ipod....)

There's an app called "gaydar" that allows you to detect other people with the application so you can find other gay people. Apparently the pink hair, earring, and characteristic "I just got fucked in the ass" walk wasn't enough for people, so they made this app.

Well to make life more interesting at work, we found a way to emulate the signal......Currently there are about 5000 gay people working here. It's awesome having an unlimited stockpile of really cool toys.

Wake up you non-commenting slime, I'm back....

Well you slackers (yes, I, the guy who just made a post after more than 3 years of non-posting laziness, just called you slackers.) I have decided it's time to start posting again. I have been collecting material for some time now and I thought I would start to share some with you "people".

So let's get this party started shall we? Three years of absence in one-post, this should set some records:

1. S married her cousin. Yes, it happened. This is Montana we're talking about here, so that's perfectly acceptable behavior. She claim's they are not really cousins, but I think that's just Montanan for "we ain't antirely shure, so we's jes sayin we arnt". Britney and Cletus were invited to the wedding, but didn't show because the pickup broke down on account of the duct tape holding the axle on givin' out again.

2. J got rid of dipshit finally. Apparently the whole process went like this:
J: "I want a divorce"
Dip: "Okay, can I still touch your boobs?"
J: "No"
Dip: "That's not fair"
That pretty much describes the whole relationship now that I think about it.